my God...it's 11.30!
for those of you who have read my recent posts (there aren't that many anyway) it's been an unbroken tradition..until now...that i post at 10+. but hey check it out!its 11.30! yay... anyway, i just wanted to post the next part of my poem.
"i wipe my cold tears and i stare at my pale palms,
my hands are shaking vigorously and yet i feel calm.
i force my hands together, and i cup them like they once knew,
but tears were still shed, i hear a laugh,my intentions not completely true.
i close my eyes and i see the scorching flames,
i think hard, i start to speak, oh hoe i long for those blue skies again."
i don't think i'm done yet. well you know, i don't guide poems, they guide me. so i look forward to where this poem brings me next. hahaha...anyhow...i'll see you another time.
just keep rolling, rolling, rolling...
so, it's been 30 minutes since my Math exam just now. it's my first paper for the 'A2's...and like the title says,now everything will start rolling smoothly-i hope. well anyhow, last night i again got inspiration to write a poem, and this time i wasn't going to make the same mistake. so i typed it up in my phone. now if i can just figure out my abbreviations...
"Once, a long time ago, my hands were cupped together,
Pointed to the sky, my head bowed down, as i chanted in prayer.
Now my hands have parted, and the heavens have closed,
and now the gates of hell have opened, i burn and yet i feel so cold...
i hear the devils laughing, and i see the saints all cry,
the shed their tears painfully, as they watch my sould die...
i cry also, but my tears only meet my smiling lips,
and there that salty taste so familiar, it's something i do not miss."
it's not complete yet...and i don't really know what it's about...ok, thats a lie. i know what its about.but it's not worth telling you guys. anyhow... i hope to end it optimistically(is that how u spell it? darn...)
i'm soooo tired... math in the morning is like waking up in a startle, hitting ur head on the bed post, and falling off the bed. well, that's never happened to me, so i really don't know. but u get what i mean. anyhoo...aik...m i'm too tired to be funny...it's too much energy. especially for someone who can't do it naturally...
well, i guess i gotta go then. i'll think of something more exciting to post next time =D
Why do I like posting at 10 am??
Is it coincidence or is there some sort of spell cast upon me that I don't know of that ensures that around 10 something in the morning, I get a chance to post?Well, whatever it is, it's pretty cool. Now for those who don't know, it's the eighth day of Ramadan today. *sigh* The fasting month, the month of no school, the month of exams, the month that will change my entire life... eek...That doesn't sound so good.
Oh yeah, about 2 nights ago I was lying in bed, staring into the darkness (I was under my blanket) when this little ray of inspiration shone through the night. Or it could've been my phone. But seriously, a poem started composing itself in my head. But I couldn't care to get out of bed and write it down, so it's gone now *sigh* And,if I do say so myself, I think it would've been a nice poem. I can't believe I forgot it. Damn...Oh well...Ok, enough about that.
you know what? I've just realized something after watching a dozen movies for these pat few days (chick flicks no doubt). You know how in those movies the girl has this 'more-than-perfect boyfriend'. He's good looking, sweeter than sugar, rich, successful, yada yada..? BUT, in the end she finds this down-to-earth, also good looking guy who doesn't really have everything, but at least has brains, and she dumps Mr. Perfect and goes for the guy she's
actually in love with. Now some og\f you guys may be thinking, "Oh no, she's going to start going all female!" Well, think what you like, but I'm not taking this to a literal meaning. So that example's about love. Think of your future career. Think of you having the prefect job, it gives you the money, the title, the success, the cars, the fame, yada yada...and then...you think of the job that you would love more. Because it's fun, it's got adventure, it's got what you love. Which one would you choose? Well, if you were one of those sensible, convenience-driven people, you'd say the money-making job. But if you were the kind of person who would rather have fun making however much money they can, they'd choose the latter. I still don't know which I'd choose. I was talking to my sister last night about some of the usual stuff, and I brought this topic up. And I said, I hope I'm not given an option. Sometimes I actually wish the wind would blow me in the right direction, without me having to actually choose. She said to me "so your saying that you don't want to take control and responsibility of your life?" In my head I said 'yea'. But of course I told her otherwise, she is my elder sister sister after all...
well, I guess that's all I gotta say today. gotta start studying now... See you next time. At 10?
doing the math...literally.
hello there non-existant readers and fans of my blog!! it's a lovely morning. in fact it's the first morning i've seen for about a week. i've been sleeping in!but then one day i woke up and realised there's only one week to my exams. so yeah... i'm in school now, cause i figure that the only way i'll be able to be productive is in school. boy was i wrong. cause one thing i hadn't anticipated was the computer...and the lovely internet access =D so yeah, before 'the computer' idea popped into my head, i was doing math.my first exam is math, and the next day i have math. then, if all goes well, that'll be the last math paper i have to deal with for the rest of my youth. i say youth because u never know if i'm married and have children. i'm going to have open the dusty stores of my mind labelled 'math' and help my child do algebra...eek...anyhoo... do u know why i hate math?okay,not hate,but dislike. i dislike math because it is the only thing i haven't been able to question. it's probably the only subject in the entire world that has 90% black and white answers.And as a literature student,i dislike that.now literature,that's a subject that has a hundred thousand different shades of grey,and more. sometimes it's just plain black *yani laughing by herself for the joke only she understands* now some of you who know me may wonder,"then why does she take biology?" well,okay,think of it this way...imagine living ur life where there is no routine. some of you probably like that idea. but then, think of waking up and finding that breakfast is not on the table, or ur parents don't come home, or u don't go to school,or ur clothes never seem to return to ur cupboard magically anymore (by the way,ur clothes get there cause ur mum or maid do it)so again imagine that u never have a routine...*yani just realised that she is contradicting herself because to not ever have a routine means ur routine is to not have a routine... nevermind.scratch that* so yeah...with a life like that, wouldn't u want a break and actually know what's coming?that's where my biology comes in. it's all usualy black&white,so u know whats coming.u don't get scared. and this doesn't just apply to subjects.well...i've written enough, and my teacher is hovering over me...so i should go now.see you around!
hello! this is me... i think...
so this is my first post, on my very first online journal. this is however not my first journal. i have many many, and because of that, i can't seem to find most of them. so i decided to write in my computer. that was going great,until my internet connection got cut off,so it got really hard to post certain issues or poems i had in my computer journal, to give to my friends. so i think it took over 15 months until someone persuaded me to get a blog. and well, here i am!! as u've all porbably read (that is assuming anyone is actually reading this) i am about 19 years old...okay okay, so a month a few weeks and a few days short of 19 years. getting to my point. many of you may think i am an adolescent(did i spell that right?) striving for identity. and you're right. i am. i have no idea who the hell i am. but at least i'm getting there. Unlike most other teenagers, i do not wallow in self pity. i have way too many inner conflicts to care about self infliction and too much studying to do(especially now) to waste time pitying myself. but anyhow, enough with degrading my own kind. lets see... what else to write? well, at the moment i am freezing cold in my sisters office, trying to finish this post as quickly as possible because i had ingested way too much fluids about 2 hours ago, and well...u can get the point. so before i leave gracefully for the toilet, doing a little dance, let me just say that whoever intends to read my blog continuously might either be annoyed, amused, interested, nauseated(oh did i spell that right??)confused and slightly exhausted in keeping up with the many disconnected strands of thoughts that seem to enjoy tangling up in my mind.hmm... but thats me...i think...*in the background a sound is heard...it is nature calling* gtg peeps...i'll write in here once i get another chance to nick someone elses comoputer. byezz
